~No matter how much Tanya screamed, there was more left in her. Her chest felt as bruised as the fists she pounded on the table. With strained breath she cried out, “How could they betray me?”. Nausea threatened to overtake her as she paced in circles. Nostrils flaring as she breathed deeply, she planted her feet onto the ground and determined to take control. Her eyes tightened as she focused on her next steps. “No one will ever have that kind of power over me again. I don’t need anyone, they will see. I’ll teach them both a lesson they will never forget!”.
~Tears flowed from Savannah in an endless torent. She fell to the floor as spasms of grief overwhelmed her. “God, How could they do this to me? I loved them so much?”. Her heart ached from the betrayal as if it had been stabbed hundreds of times over. Each one representing a lie, a manipulation, a fake smile. Savannah knew she could expose it all, starting wars between family and friends, or she could trust God with it all. “Father, I want to show everyone how I was wronged, expose them, mock them, hurt them the way they hurt me. But I know that isn’t Your way. If I must suffer then I know You have a greater purpose for it. I trust You to work in their hearts and in the hearts of my loved ones and reveal the truth to them. Your word says I only need to be still and let You fight for me, so that is what I will do with Your help. This hurts so much Father. I don’t even know if I can move forward. Help me not become bitter, help me to forgive them.”
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord .
Lamentations 3:26 KJV
Hope is a deep word, and in this verse it means so much more than expectantly waiting. It also has an additional meaning of twirling as in dancing, but also of writhing in pain as in childbirth, travailing to bring something forth.
Sometimes people either think hoping is easy or that it is only for those positive upbeat people. Not so. Hope is something you fight for. It is searching for a flashlight in absolute darkness, knowing it is there to be found. It is crying out to God all day and all night until He rests His peace upon you and then coming back to Him for more before you run out. It is knowing the character of God, His great mercy, grace, and love for you, His beloved child. It is knowing that while He does not cause evil, He does allow evil (due to the free will He gives us) and will in it’s proper time, use it for good. It is trusting that God said “vengence is Mine” and that He is likely working out a redeption plan in those that hurt you too.
But it is hard. Just look at the damage a ballerina’s feet endure. Yet it produces a beautiful dance.
We come to you now with all our hurts, betrayals, and wounds. We know You are the Great Physican and that You don’t just cover up wounds or treat symptoms. You heal, You find the hidden cause, and bring true healing. We ask with confidence and assurance to bring about Your healing, Your plans and purposes, in our lives. We hand over to You all our pain, our fleshly desires for revenge, and every other unholy thing within us. Thank You for rushing in with all that You are and making us whole. In Jesus Name, Amen.